Sage Advice for First-Year Students (Part 5)
As February rolls around at University of Toronto, King’s College Circle is covered by a blanket of snow, preventing rushed students from cutting across the field without snow seeping through their socks. People take refuge from the cold in libraries for hours, careful to avoid mirrors which behold their pastiness, derived from an extreme lack of Vitamin D. Commuters wake up hours early to get on subways and streetcars, and on-campus students wrap scarves around their noses as they swim through blizzards to reach their classes.
It’s a harsh winter, and yet to those students who are so inclined, a scenic one as well. Some may say the snow dumps onto their porch; others may say it falls delicately. Some may deplore getting blisters from wearing skates; others may daydream about holding someone’s hand while gliding on the ice rink at Dundas Square. February, as Hallmark has dictated to us for years, is not only the high point of the Canadian deep freeze: it is the most romantic month of the year, for it contains that highest of holy days, Valentine’s Day.
First-year university and relationships, especially those of the long-distance nature, are traditional enemies in the vast library of films and novels describing the freshman experience. Especially for those students living in residence, maintaining a long-distance relationship can be an extremely time-consuming and, frankly, unnecessarily dramatic ordeal. There are, however, many students who have been able to uphold a healthy relationship during first-year and beyond, often because the boyfriend or girlfriend lives near enough for regular visits on both ends.
That said, first-year university and singlehood are not necessarily the perfect fit either. While many and perhaps most students are content to spend their first-year partaking in “random hook-ups” and “no strings attached” relationships, there are those among us that feel a certain self-inflicted pressure to meet someone and begin a serious relationship.
It is difficult for me to advise anyone on relationships because they are so variable. However I think there are some pieces of advice which are universal in terms of dating in first-year:
- For those in a relationship: If you are having fun, continue on. When it stops being fun and starts being a nuisance is when you should end the relationship. Pressure arises, for example, in long-distance relationships with such issues as jealousy and infidelity. Rather than engulf yourself in drama with your partner, and effectively render yourself anti-social, move on. You’re eighteen, and there is no pressure on you to be in a committed relationship that isn’t working for you
- For those who are single: Don’t feel pressure to get into a relationship, or to hook up with anyone you don’t want to. Enjoy being single rather than moping about it. Put yourself out there and meet people in your classes and in extra-curriculars. There are so many people at this school, just in a class in Con Hall. If you keep meeting people, eventually you’ll meet someone who’s right for you.
It’s first year – you’re only eighteen, and love may not yet be in the air. First-year should be about new experiences and enjoying yourself. Have fun and take care of yourself first and foremost. Single or not, we can all agree that the two words we’re thinking of most this February aren’t “Valentine’s Day”. A much more widely celebrated holiday, indeed, that we can all enjoy this month will hopefully be “Snow Day” (unlikely as the U of T administration would rather us freeze than miss a day of lecture, but a girl can pray).
