Dears readers, it’s EXAM TIME AGAIN!! I know we’re all super, super excited at the prospect of long hours in the library, hand cramps while writing one-hour essays, hilariously confusing multiple choice questions, and all that crazy fun stuff. To celebrate everyone’s favourite time of year, here is my obligatory exams advice post, which has 10 rules for exam success (or at least, avoiding emotional meltdowns/procrastination).

10. As much as possible, don’t study in Robarts. Robarts is a soul-sucking, mentally-, physically-, emotionally-, spiritually-draining succubus. Yes, there are long opening hours; yes, there are food and books and really stressed out people who are theoretically in the same boat as you (but somehow – and perhaps this is just a side-effect of the demonic environment of Robarts Mansion – competing to study better or more than you), but there are not enough windows, and there is not enough oxygen, and the bottom line is that it’s a sad, scary place, and though being there may be necessary to push through some serious cramming, you should find a happier study spot if you can.

9. Don’t try to eat your notes. You can’t study everything: you cannot eat your textbook, you cannot swallow your syllabus, you cannot consume your lecture notes (I say all of this from experience of trying it… just joking – I’ve never tried to eat my notes. You shouldn’t either. In the interest of honesty, I concede that I have considered it at high moments of desperation). You aren’t going to cover it all; just keep reviewing and have realistic expectations for yourself. Grasp concepts and what you need to know, and don’t pressure yourself to know it all.

8. Continue to be a human being. You can’t study constantly… you just can’t. Don’t schedule yourself to study nonstop for 24 hours; it’s not a productive or healthy plan. Allot realistic amounts of time for studying, so that you don’t feel guilty about not fulfilling your own astronomical study time quotas. Do things that aren’t studying, at least a little bit, including eating, sleeping, working out, going outside, interacting with other humans, watching TV, showering, etc. You can’t study every second of the day; it’s best to spend some of that time making a conscious effort to uphold your sanity, or what remains of it.

7. Turn off your Internet. Better yet, turn off your computer. Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr will destroy your study efforts. And the worst part is that, by virtue of being on the computer, somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re going to believe that you’ve been studying – you have been staring at a screen, doing nothing particularly fun (e.g. watching a YouTube playlist of weird quirks on Google Maps; looking at mildly entertaining GIFs from old TV shows you forgot about; stalking that guy from your second grade swimming class who recently got some tattoos, etc.). My roommate always laughs when I say that I’m taking away my own Internet privileges, but it’s a very, very necessary personal punishment or else my hours of studying will melt into hours of looking at pictures of puppies (arguably an excellent way to spend my time, but I digress).

6. Know your study stipulations. Do you study well in groups? Do you like bouncing ideas off people in your class, or does studying with them make you nervous? Are you better off in a library, or in a café? Should you be re-writing, re-reading, or both? You know how you’re most productive (or you’re in the course of figuring that out), and you shouldn’t mess with the formula! Sometimes it’s really hard to find an angle from which to begin studying; start with what you know, instead of stressing about how you’ve forgotten how to study. You know how, even if you’re overwhelmed; just start, and you’ll make the necessary adjustments along the way.

5. Beware the exam format. Essays? Multiple choice? Short answer? Cheat sheets? These sorts of specifics are the keys to the exam – they tell you whether concepts or content are more important, how to study, and what to be ready for. Assuming this information is available to you, or can be easily discerned, keep it in the front of your mind and let it shape how and what you study. Cheat sheets are particularly tricky – don’t over-rely on them or use them for a ‘data dump’ on your exam, but use them as a study tool, and don’t forget to use them during the exam.

4. Don’t overdose on caffeine. Or, at least, know your caffeine limits. If you can handle six Americanos with extra shots of espresso to keep you rolling, that’s cool (although I don’t recommend it and I am fairly willing to assume that a physician would second that), but if three cups of coffee will have you dancing for an hour (followed by an hour of twitching in the fetal position), maybe you should only have two. Just a thought! Another piece of advice is to curb some of your coffee intake with tea (caffeine-free, people!).

3. DON’T PROCRASTINATE. That’s it. Try not to procrastinate as much as possible – you will, but try not to, and try to be aware that you’re doing it (as I am right now). That’s all.

2. Prep a really elaborate, choreographed post-exam dance. Consider making t-shirts, hiring back-up dancers, a band, fire-breathers, jugglers, etc. You want to exit that last exam with a really epic dance or jump. This is your moment. No one is going to judge you. Channel all that pent-up stress energy (or, as my roommate and I brilliantly dubbed it, ‘stressergy’) into an unforgettable exit jig, cheer, full-on choreographed number, song, jump, or otherwise. Everyone is in the same headspace as you, and they’re probably going to understand and respect this act of pure, uninhibited glee (and if they don’t, who cares – YOU’RE DONE!). I’m still finalizing my plans, but I can tentatively say that the song “Glad You Came” is a serious contender in terms of soundtrack and raising the roof, over-sized neon sunglasses, and high-fiving a row of students are all also under consideration.

1. Don’t write a blogUT article when you should be studying. Whoops.

Best of luck on exams to all! Keep happy and sane. You’re going to do great; you’re going to live through it; the end is near, and very sunny.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 13th, 2012 at 1:09 pm and is filed under Academics, Desperation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.