Remember the good ol’ high school days when stereotyping first took root? When people were labeled for something as simple as actually doing well school? It started off with the ‘Geek’, then the ‘Nerd’ and, somewhere along the way, became the ‘Genius’. Then things got complicated and there was the geek-nerd, then the Geek-Genius, then the Nerd-Genius, then the Nerd-Geek-Genius (not specifically in that order). But now there is perhaps one label to surpass all others: the Keener.

Before I continue, there is indeed (according to the always-correct Wiki) a difference between a Nerd and a Geek. Please see http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-the-Difference-Between-Nerds-and-Geeks for more details.

Now, I’m sure you’ve all seen an example of a Nerd/Geek/Genius/Keener in your classes, even if you were unaware of the labels. Here’s a basic rundown:

Geek (GPA goal: N/A):

• Really enjoys talking about the things (s)he knows
• Memorizes EVERYTHING for no apparent reason
• Is a human encyclopedia
• Is likely good with technology
• Likely uses ‘big’ words
• Sometimes skips out on school work in pursuit of more intellectually stimulating activities (like reading random Wiki articles to add to the Brain Encyclopedia)

Nerd (GPA goal: 3.5):

• Really likes learning
• Enjoys problem solving
• Also good with technology (though not as good as the Geek)
• May or may not be slightly anti-social
• Grades do not usually fall below a 90%
• Generally studies and does school work during free time

Genius (GPA goal: 3.9-4.0):

• Is capable of doing everything a Nerd and Geek can do (only better)
• Often does not do school work (as doing school work will have little effect on the Genius’ overall GPA)
• Has a big ego
• If the Genius is neither a Nerd nor a Geek, (s)he probably does not enjoy the intellectual pursuit

Keener (GPA goal: 4.0… or higher):

• Tries extremely hard in school
• Completes assigned work before the halfway-point between getting the assignment and the due date
• Starts studying for the final exam at the beginning of the course
• Has probably emailed a professor
• Has probably asked a professor a question face to face
• Goes to Con Hall lectures 15-30min early in order to grab a front row seat
• Will horde all notes to save for review in the future
• Takes good notes
• Memorizes all formulas even if a formula sheet is given on tests
• Usually tends to have a limited social life (if they have a social life at all)
• Generally gets amazing marks – a mark below a 90% may cause the Keener to undergo metamorphosis and become an Emo
• Many Keeners collectively form a swarm of eager young students around professors before and after lectures
• You probably don’t see a Keener much since they tend to do nothing but study, eat, sleep, and use the washroom. And breathe. Sometimes.

As you can see, Keeners are intense.

Now, if you want to accurately describe someone using these labels, you can mix them up. Just take all the labels that said person can be described by and write them from most to least relevant with dashes in between labels. For example, a Nerd-Keener-Genius-Geek probably really likes school (Nerd), works hard at it (Keener), is in good academic standing (Genius) and generally enjoys learning (Geek). However, a Nerd-Keener-Geek-Genius will enjoy learning more since the ‘Geek’ label is before the ‘Genius’ label. (Note: I find that Geek-Geniuses tend to be good tutors.)

Often Nerds are also Keeners, since both are fond of school and learning. However, Keeners do not have to like learning, and so a Keener-Genius (a frighteningly effective being) does not necessarily really like learning. They’re probably just in school out of boredom or because their parents forced them here.

You may also be thinking that Genius-Nerds must be rare since Nerds enjoy learning while Geniuses don’t really care much. However, note that, in the definition of a Genius, (s)he does not care for learning unless (s)halso has a Nerd/Geek trait. Generally the Nerd/Geek’s enjoyment of learning will overshadow any dislike of learning given by other labels.

Now, if there is a Genius-Geek-Nerd, or just a Genius-Geek, somewhere who can help me come up with a mathematical equation to find the average percentage mark received by any combination of these traits, that’d be really helpful. I’m afraid I’m not Geek or Genius enough to do so and I’m far too Keener to bother using my time for something non-GPA related. However, I hope this has helped you in properly categorizing those pesky people who seem to be surviving (and thriving in) the harsh and unyielding conditions of university.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 19th, 2011 at 9:00 am and is filed under Academics, UT Life, Whimsical. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.